We all sympathise, Dave, we really do. Lounge suit? Tails? My belief is that the guests should really pull out all the stops to look as glamorous as possible. It’s more fun that way, and it honours the bride. White is a no no. Chartreuse suggests envy. Black… what are you in mourning or something? And think about your coat, too. 100 people in black coats do not make for a beautiful group shot. The ‘What Not to Wear’ girls dictate that you wear something dignified with a bit of raunch. The message is ‘I recognise the importance of the occasion and I also plan to have a lot of fun on the dancefloor later.’
When I was single, I never wore a hat, but always got my hair blowdried so that I looked uber chic. My hairdresser, Central Cuts in Highgate, could probably chart my life by the weddings I’ve been to. My theory was that men do not make passes at girls in hats. I did eventually meet my man at a Catholic wedding…
Nowadays I have a different dilemma: What does the wedding photographer wear? The same rules apply: I think if I look uber chic in an understated way that makes the bride look even more clever and fabulous. But I’ve got to be able to move. And I don’t want anything bright that might bounce light into my pictures. And I’m moving around from morning till night, rolling on the floor, stomping through landscapes, which would be pretty tiring in heels (not to say hard to balance!). And I don’t want anything too short in church in case the priest bans me! So the look I go for is very tailored dresses with chic trousers and silvery anti-fatigue lace ups. I add some sparkly jewellery for good measure. Nicole Farhi, Vivienne Westwood and Toast; thank you!